Thank you to all the moms who read my blog and especially to the ones who were generous enough to spend some time answering the questionnaire and being a part of my local moms celebration. I have always wanted my blog to be more about the community than about me, so I am thrilled when people want to participate. I think we all enjoy hearing what other moms have to say and seeing their perspective as it helps reaffirm and challenge our own ideas and practices. I love that doing this blog has connected me with so many interesting moms and dads too. It may seem funny, but social media such as Facebook, Twitter and my blog has really helped me connect with people not just virtually, but in the real world as well. A few people emailed me to ask if I intended to fill out my own questionnaire. So here are my answers:
Occupation: Public Relations Professional
Children: one, a boy, 3.5
When you were a teenager and you thought about your future life, what did you think and how does the reality match up?
I had absolutely no biological clock. So children were not in my fantasies about my future life. As a teenager I envisioned being some kind of adventurous world travelling journalist. A girl TinTin perhaps. In reality, I don’t like flying much and I am pretty content to stay close to home. I do have a journalism degree so I guess I partially lived up to my dream.
6. What is the hardest thing about being a mom?
For me it is all about time and giving my son my full attention. I struggle with it daily. I realize he can’t be the centre of the universe all the time and that it wouldn’t be good for him anyway, but with work and housework and cooking dinner and finding time for exercise and time for my husband; trying to give my son quality time with me is something I am constantly working on. Sometimes it is only 5 or 10 minutes in the morning before I head off to work, but I know if my heart and head are in it 100% for 10 minutes, it is better than 30 minutes with him if I am distracted the whole time.
7. What is the best thing about being a mom?
Joy and laughter. Since our son was born there has been a lot more laughter and joy in my life. It isn’t that life wasn’t good before, it is just that with a child you are able to express it more freely and more often. I don’t think I have smiled and laughed this much since I was a child myself. You see the world in a whole new way through your kids and they remind you of the happiness and wonder in even the simplest and smallest things.
8. When you think about your parenting style, what words would you use to describe it?
Erratic? Seriously though, we are learning as we go. We are not perfect. I read parenting books which are as annoying as they are helpful sometimes. I try to use my gut instincts. If it doesn't feel right, it probably isn't. Our son is a joy. He is even tempered (most of the time) and he is loving. If his behavior and temperament are an indication; I think we are doing a pretty good job.
9. Best advice I was given is something I pass on as well, it is more of a mantra than advice: The days are long, but the years are short. It may be a cliche, but this helps remind me to make the most of each day and helps me get through the tough days.
10. What is the one thing you wish someone had told you before you became a mother? I don't think there is anything anyone could have told me that I would have believed or understood until I went through it myself. I was given lots of advice and some of it was good, some was not, but when I meet new moms or mothers to be I try not to give them patronizing advice and try instead to be supportive and empathetic. There is a lot of grey area in parenthood, so I don't think there is any one piece of advice that applies to everyone.
11. What kind of grown-ups do you hope your children will become?
I hope he is happy, fun loving, fearless, and able to adapt well to change.
12. How do you keep a sense of balance in your life?
For me balance is not something you achieve, but something you continually strive for. Some weeks I do better than others in terms of balancing family time with my busy schedule. Family dinners, making sure I maintain my friendships, and getting outdoors whenever possible help me feel more grounded. I think it is important to try to have some things beyond motherhood and work, things that are just for you to help you feel balanced. For me those things are yoga (when I find time), my book club, and gardening.
13. What is your guilty pleasure?
I have a soap opera that I have watched for about 25 years. And no, it isn't Coronation Street. That is too highbrow for me ;)
Happy May 24th weekend, everyone !
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